Mr. Morton Takes on the Nats (Spoiler: SUCK IT, PAPELBON)

Again, set to the tune of Schoolhouse Rock classic Mister Morton.450203.jpg

It’s another start for Charlie Morton
Mister Morton is who?
A pitcher who was tested by the Washington Nats
So let’s see, how did he do?
Mister Morton walked up to the mound
Mister Morton walked
Mister Morton talked to his catcher
Mister Morton talked
(Hello, Chooch, you look good)
Mister Morton was ready
Mister Morton was

Mister Morton is the pitcher of the ballgame
And he kept it close for us

Mister Morton struck out six
Mister Morton struck
Mister Morton scattered four hits
His ERA didn’t go up
Mister Morton was confident
Mister Morton was

Mister Morton is the pitcher of the ballgame
And he kept it close for us

The game was going smoothly
Though the Phils lost the last two games
And the starting pitchers got hit big time
But this time though
Mister Morton held on
And got a win against Prince Papelbon

Mister Morton stayed until the sixth
Mister Morton stayed
Mister Morton gave up a run
Mister Morton was frayed
Mister Morton was very tired
Mister Morton was

Mister Morton is the pitcher of the ballgame
And he kept it close for us

The inning ended
Neris arrived
The bullpen got right through
(Come on guys- come on!)
The game was finally completed when
Galvis doubled off Papelbon in inning 10

Mister Morton threw 80 pitches
Mister Morton threw
Mister Morton’s fastball was up to 97
And his ERA is under 4
Mister Morton was a happy man
He remembered how to pitch well again

Mister Morton left the ballgame
Mister Morton left
Mister Morton stretched as it went to extra innings
Mister Morton stretched
Mister Morton was tired
Mister Morton was
Until Freddy Galvis came to the plate
The Phils have feasted on Pap since he was traded
Now Mister Morton is determined
And the rest of the Phillies are too

They’re still at home tonight
Let’s see what Thor will do

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Mr. Morton Takes on the Nats (Spoiler: SUCK IT, PAPELBON)

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