This Is Not a Drill: Mr. Morton Is Headed to the Disabled List


I have pretty spectacular resolve when it comes to taking a joke and trying to make it last for an extended period of time, but even I can’t come up with enough verses of a Schoolhouse Rock parody to stretch out the three outs of baseball Mr. Morton pitched last night before he collapsed while running to first on a routine bunt. He had to be carried off the field. (Please don’t make this an argument into bringing the designated hitter into the National League.)

He told the media that his leg felt like it was dead. Either he takes his preparation for the sixth series of Games of Thrones way too seriously or he has a strained left hamstring.

His replacement in the rotation could be Mr. Adam Morgan, who could be a very tempting replacement for Charlie in the Schoolhouse Rock song, but (to me), it was so much funnier with Charlie because his last name is actually Morton.

In other news, the offense erupted last night and the Phils are at .500, better than two teams in their own division. The starting pitching actually has been pretty good overall; I don’t have to reach for any antacids until the bullpen comes in, usually.

I’m not used to being this out of sorts after a Phillies win, to be quite honest.

This Is Not a Drill: Mr. Morton Is Headed to the Disabled List

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