Our Second Child

My parenting spirit animal is Bunmi Laditan, a writer who is behind the hilarious Honest Toddler on Twitter. I’m still a social media square so I follow her on Facebook. She posted a gem last week: “Our second child is a drunk version of our first child.”

It’s like this woman lives in our home.

My daughter has a quiz today on state capitals. I usually let her manage her own studies, but considering how well she prepared for her piano exam, and how she was watching a lot of television that was not about state capitals, yesterday I randomly asked her what the capital of Kentucky is. After doing her best impression of a deer in headlights, she admitted she needed to brush up, so I made her some flash cards. (The capital of Kentucky is Frankfort.)

(On her first go round with the cards, my daughter missed 15 capitals. I told her that would be a 70 percent, and she said, “That’s still considered proficient,” and then I asked if she ever met me, because I know she’s capable of a lot more than proficient and I’m not going to let her slide.) 

We were reviewing the flashcards this morning before school. It went something like this:

Mom: “Kansas.”

First child: “Topeka.”

Second child: “Butts!”

Mom: “Wyoming. Wyoming is important because it was the first state to ratify the constitutional amendment giving women the right to vote.”

First child: “Sha-nay.”

Mom: “It’s pronounced Shy-Anne.”

First child: “I know it as Sha-nay. I’m the one taking the test.”

Second child: “The capital of Wyoming is Butts!”

Mom: “You’re being inappropriate. Stop saying that. Nevada.”

Second child: “Carson City!”

First child: “MOM!”

Pause while I glare at second child.

Second child: “Butts City.”

Our Second Child

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