I’m Confiscating All the Markers in the Kitchen


I phone it in when it comes to breakfast. Options include frozen waffles and pancakes that my kids can prepare, sausage or bacon that my kids can heat up in the microwave, cereal or fruit. They go through phases so there are enough choices to satisfy their discerning palates.

Late last week my daughter complained about the cereal selection, which is Rice Krispies or Cheerios. I asked her for suggestions and her first response was Fruit Loops. After I got done laughing, I countered with Kix or Chex. She came back with Lucky Charms. I postponed any actions on our debate until this week. A friend suggested trying one of flavored Special K cereals. It seemed like a good compromise, and I took both kids to the grocery store this weekend to check out the cereal aisle. (We also got ingredients for a slow cooker recipe that my son immediately insisted I share–before he had two bites of it and said he was full–so I’ll do that tomorrow.)

We were in the produce section, heading to the cereal aisle. I was anticipating and dreading a long, drawn-out argument over a new cereal, and the kids, sensing my unease, ratcheted up their best behavior points to cash in on some sugary nonsense. There was no fighting about who got to choose a cart, who got to put the food in the cart, who got to push the cart, who got to cross items off the list, etc. etc. We passed the organic section and there was a cereal called Fruitful Ohs on the end display. I said guys, I am OK with this because it is organic. Can we compromise here? The kids, perhaps gobsmacked that I was beginning negotiations with a version of Fruit Loops, a previous nonstarter, gratefully accepted the terms.

The above is my daughter’s handiwork after breakfast this morning. (Edited to add: my son claimed at least two “butts” and was upset he didn’t think of defacing the box first.) Apparently she thinks being organic means taking a special pride in a certain part of our digestive system. Both kids like the cereal and after my husband raised an eyebrow at me, I informed him that he could take the kids to the grocery store and pick out a cereal with them. He then told me I did a great job.

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I’m Confiscating All the Markers in the Kitchen

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